Life is what happens while you are planning other things!
Soo true!! Here I was, planning so many things… the castle was almost built, the fairy tale had already reached its peak, when all of a sudden reality sneaked in.. slowly, gradually.. unknowingly, crept into my castle, like a character appearing in one of the chapters of the fairy tale without any introduction.
And it took me over…
Is reality always so shattering??
Right now I am left with a blank space, with a vacuum inside, where there is no place for any feelings, no emotions, no thoughts… just a vacuum. But I think this vacuum was always with me, had followed me everywhere only that I had always overlooked its presence.
From the moment youth had crept into my life, till late, imagination has always been my night partner. The powerful mind can do all the impossible things that is beyond practicality. You can reach the heights of Mt. Everest or the depths of Antarctic.
Faceless, voiceless, yet charming, enticing, alluring….It comes and goes.. the face that I had once talked about.. the image. Maybe it was one of my imaginations but it had been a part of me for quite some time, and today as I am on the verge of burying it, it seems as if I am about to cremate somebody, maybe a part of me. Like an unborn child which had no physical existence but when conceived had brought with it, lots of dreams, happiness and life.
However hard I try to forget its existence, that it was just a fiction, a figment of my covert imagination, it is taking me with it. Like every tide takes away something from the shore.
I just hope there is enough of me left till the end of this fiasco.
Still if you see from far, it would be no fiasco, just a passing superfluous phase. Yet for me it has the same smell as in a burial ground. The same wind, similar silence as in a funeral morning. A pregnant silence. And no chance to grief… since life has to go on…
The phase has to pass on, and I am sure that it will. All that is left is to see, what it leaves behind. Enough to take me through till the end?
Someday, somewhere, sometime, when I have revived through this passing phase, may be I can sit back and think sensibly, but for now, I am flowing… flowing away with the tide.
And it feels good to be with the tide, to be on the high and to flow away with it….
