The Bypass Calling

The lonely drive… along the stretch…
The gust of wind on my face
Has often evoked a smile or a tear sometimes…
The green elements standing untouched..
the city looming aside…
The neon lights enlightening the pathway..
the numerous hoardings increasingly lining up day by day…
The all too familiar smell..
the memories of another day…
the unknown face…with the known smile…
the hands that were sometimes felt..
the silence between
more disturbing than the bizarre traffic…
the churning heart..
the yearns of a loved heart…


“Dada bypass dhore berobo”
…anyplace I go.. I always prefer the bypass route…Logically speaking it is the fastest and most hassle free route. So Whenever I ask myself..” Shall I take the bypass” Its always accompanied by a “Yes”… Logic says so.. but its not logic that I follow.. have never followed it.. its my heart that rules again.

Dear Bypass..
You steer me away from the main city
towards the strait of memories..
of some golden momets spent..

You have seen me in every form..
happen to know every hidden secret of mine…
You have shared my smiles…
and my tears too unyieldingly.

You are the same everyday..
but the intangibles attached are different
I take your route everyday…
I relate to myself through you…
You are the only one with whom I feel.. and feel everything…
the ‘had beens’… the ‘is’.. the ‘will bes’.

Its you who comes to me .. when I think of this city

The silence never broken…. Not a word said… No tears shed.. then why did I feel you near me.. soothing me.. touching me…

You have seen me breaking… and gradually making too..
You have heard my silent curses and the whispers of endearments too..
You have seen it all and you know it all…
yet I have never added you to my friend list…
I have never thanked you enough for being constant in this world of inconsistency..

From faraway the old song sings…
“Ei shohor jaane amar prothom shob kichu…”

So I give in to the urge.. and pass by the dwindling city …
”Dada Bypass dhore berobo”

I have lost it.... completely.. this time !!!

IT never happened the way I wanted it to....

"Years down the line when I no more have the time to listen to the falling raindrops..when I no longer feel the warmth of the blanket, when I don’t have to go to college ..no canteens, no adda, no cups of coffee on the terrace, no coffeehouse no foodstation visits.........When tired of the ‘office’ life I look out for something-- only to get a vacuum . I know it will still be there..that face, that image, that smile, that caress...
it might touch me lightly even, but it will....
It will still listen to me when I have lost the energy to talk..
It will remind me of those cozy...warm... silky nights..
of the smile that was there in broad day light..
of the hand that touched me..
of the heart that loved me.
... and I will be happy again!! I will be his girl again. I will forget everything and sleep again!"

It is not there in my life anymore.... It stands far away from me..mocks me.. and challenges me that if I go after it I will prove myself a weakling...

It is not there in my life anymore.... will never be there...
... and I will never be happy again!! I will never be his girl again. I will forget everything but never sleep again !!!

The Epilogue…

When the years fade away
Into the glorious past
And men seemed to have
Changed their paths

When you’ve moved apart
Ahead in life
The choicest moves
Pressing your sides

On a long road you will walk
Feeling me at every spot
And as the days go by you would remember me
As if you never forgot

That’s me for your heart !!!

Bye Bye Quacky !!

"Days fade into night,
Winter into glorious spring...
Memories do not fade away,They just settle down into a permanent corner of your mind.

One fine morning, you might find those memories wake up from hibernation.
Those dusty corners behind the closed door
Of your mind gets cleansed
and that torn address book comes out...............

We are just a call away."

Courtesy : Paromita Chakraborty

Nobody around... :(

The world said this, the world said that,
but nobody cared to know what said my heart.
Nobody ever looked through my eyes, nobody ever thought what I like or despise.

Nobody will ever see what I think, nobody will ever understand nything.
Nobody will ever get to know the pain I`m in...
Nobody will ever uncover the secrets within.

Time & tide waits for none & I`ll grow up as wished by everyone.
My tears are dry & I`ve forgtten 2 cry. But nobody will ever know why I said
"IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING"...

They will never know what I live (lived) for & what my life is!

FORBIDDEN LIFE

As the night creeps in
And silence befalls...
The faces seem to fade
Amidst the darkened walls....

But Men must come and Men must go,
As the night creeps in and silence befalls.

The meaning of death has finally struck me and am suddenly not able to find the strength to accept the existence of that.
DEATH ...!! How can a person who had been breathing life, talking walking, smiling,... a person in real flesh & blood be reduced to ashes. Living people... finally ending up in ashes. That’s what death is.!!

Biologically, the heart stops functioning, but for us... it’s the end of a life, and with it dies its hopes, wishes, dreams, its burdens, struggles and also happiness of so many other people.

And yet how easily we forget death...! May be not ‘forget’ but sooner or later we all get used to the sorrow of death – the fact that our dear & loved one is not with us... will never be with us anymore.

That’s what rebels in me tonight ... How can I permit my loved ones body to be burnt in ashes... Never to see him/ her again... never to hear that voice, that laughter... ad whom do I go to when I need help, when I need that particular person.

Will I find a substitute for this too...???
It’s a question for every body... How can we allow death?? Why don’t we have control over it ...?

And yet every life moves towards the sole destination... Death! The only permissible love of life is death...!

So I let the night creep in
And silence to befall...
I let the faces fade
Amidst the darkened walls....

And I cry and I cry...
Till the tears dry.
Until the night creeps into the silent walls.

15 PARK AVENUE

A very well appreciated movie made by Aparna Sen - a movie depicting one of the rare kinds of mental illnesses - Schizophrenia – a disease where a person lives in an unreal world and believes it to be as true as the real world is for us.
And a very commendable performance by Konkona Sen Sharma who led the role of the mentally challenged patient.

The movie made me think a lot and as usual my extent of imagination had no bounds.
Schizophrenic patients are so unlike the normal people, but still I found a hidden similarity with them.

For me and am sure many of us, our existence is substantiated with the co-existence of an unreal world - a world where all the otherwise impossible things happen... a world where all our suppressed dreams and wishes come true.

For me, in this world, I have with me the love that I had never succeeded in having in my real world. I have some hypothetical problems and situations which deeply affect me and make me cry to an extent where I forget that in actual they do not exist.
And strangest of all, for me, both the worlds operate simultaneously.
When I am in office, I let the real world take over me, though I can hear the call of the unreal world at the same time.
At home I let the latter take over and get so engrossed that often I forget the differentiation between reality and unreality... And yet I am normal.

...We are all normal till there is the fine line of differentiation between fact and imagination.

But just a thought : What happens when we cross the fine line of demarcation??? What happens when imagination takes over reality...?

Do we forget the real world totally? Do we get lost suddenly as Konkona did...???
Do we finally have the address of our dreams as Konkona did ...?

Do we ever get out of this world....???
Do we finally reach our “15 PARK AVENUE”....???