will sleep again!

Its raining hard .... I can hear the falling raindrops from inside.. its falling on the tin car-shade and making a harsh sound... it seems as if hell has broken loose... it must be chilling outside .
The satin sheets are cold like ice and when it touches the warmth of the body, it gives me shivers.. It will be warm soon... the blanket will make sure of it.. It seems a perfect night is awaiting me... cozy....warm...silky...the sounds outside provides the music. That’s why I have switched off the FM....The ceiling fan seems to fade away...the eyelids are so heavy.....how relaxing it is to close your eyes...and so do I do..
The music is still there.., the ceiling fan has vanished.. Instead it has come....the face, the image that has now become a part of me. Its always there with me wherever I go.. it peeps or smiles and even criticizes me.. I talk with it..love to see the smile and hear its voice.. Wat shall I call it.. “my friend of darkness”..? “it” is a better word.. I prefer using that!
It has come again....it always does. Meets me at this place every night...how close it is. I can touch it. It never shies away....it hears everything, the spoken n the unspoken words too...It has now become the closest thing to me... and I can see the twinkle in its eyes which promises me of togetherness, come what may... and I believe it......... IT IS THERE TO STAY!! It plays with me.. touches me .. caresses me, cuddles me. Sometimes hides away from me ..only to come back again....I am happy.......and satisfied too..I have it with me...

Wat was that noise? Its still drizzling out..... I can faintly see the ceiling fan above me.. I search for my cell phone which must be beside my pillow, thats where I keep it...a look at it and the time shows “03.14am”. Plenty of time to sleep again and I close my eyes...
It is still there, patiently waiting for me... gives me a mock smile... I enjoy it...have started enjoying every act of “my friend of darkness”. Am deeply aware of every motion of its. I wonder why I am never tired of looking at it.. every time is a new experience and every time I fall more in love with it...deep.....intense.....strong!

I have to take out my hand from the warmth of the blanket or else the shrilling sound will eat me up! It must be the alarm...goodness! Its really irritating! The lovely music of the night before is no more there, but the clouds in the sky are a constant reminder.
Its so warm inside the blanket but as I stretch my legs, I realize how icy the sheets are! I can still doze off for a minute or two till the bed tea is served and then the day has to begin again..! College ....WOW! (College.. uff! That was how it used to be earlier!). But now things have changed. I get to meet him there.. so it has to be the best place for me. I spend the major part of my day there with him. Either in the classroom, or in the canteen.. or on the terrace, or in coffee house and sometimes at Food Station too. He is so similar to my night friend. He listens to me.. to whatever shit I have to talk..calls me his baby, his girl.......how similar both are!! The more I stay with him the more I want to.. I am never satisfied... I seem to want more of him everyday... when the time comes to get back to home, its worse.. I wish I could hold on to him...but I know that’s not feasible... so we part with the hope that we meet again online...and so we do. From here starts the game of chatting and voice chat.. thanx to the technology.. I can see him if I want to thru his webcam too, but I don’t need to , my imagination is strong enough.
Night falls.... have to go to bed.. we bid each other goodbyes.. and he signs out. For quite a few moments I keep staring at the monitor.. missing his presence.. go through our conversation again.... and then sign out myself to prepare for bed..
Bed..! night.. sleep! Wonderful.. it must be waiting for me again.. have to rush.....its time!
And there it comes...as it always does..smiling and with open arms. It waits for me the entire day to welcome me with all its heart.
It will always remain so..my heart tells me so..
Years down the line when I no more have the time to listen to the falling raindrops..when I no longer feel the warmth of the blanket, when I don’t have to go to college ..no canteens, no adda, no cups of coffee on the terrace, no coffeehouse no foodstation visits.........When tired of the ‘office’ life I look out for something-- only to get a vacuum . I know it will still be there..that face, that image, that smile, that caress...
it might touch me lightly even, but it will....
It will still listen to me when I have lost the energy to talk..
It will remind me of those cozy...warm... silky nights..
of the smile that was there in broad day light..
of the hand that touched me..
of the heart that loved me.
... and I will be happy again!! I will be his girl again. I will forget everything and sleep again!