The present !

Life suddenly has taken a weird turn for me. All of a sudden nothing seems to matter at all. The darkness seem to be engulfing me everyday. But I guess I am happy. Because I can see them happy. I can see everybody around me happy and I really wish I could laugh heartily for once, but somehow I don’t feel like that. Not that I want to cry. Even tears seem useless. There is happiness floating everywhere except in the darkness of mine. Nobody asks me anything and I don’t tell anything to anyone, coz I don’t find the use of talking anything anymore to anybody. I an terribly busy with office and the moment I am out of office, I am back to my dark self. Everything is shattered around me but I have lost the zeal to gather the pieces around me. As I walk along, the pieces crumble under my feet, and majestically I walk away as if they were mere dry leaves fallen from a forlorn tree.
The thing has finally struck me. The reality of what I have done has finally struck me! And it is devastating. It is eating me up gradually but I never feel a thing. Infact I have sort of accepted it. I remember a friend of mine had said that many of us find pleasure in getting hurt. Today at this point I am sure I am one of those kinds.
I am just waiting to see the extent of my fate, to see what is in store for me. It is like sitting behind and watching a movie waiting for the climax to come.
The window pane my room seems to become hazy as I keep on staring at it and try to see beyond it. The fresh air seems to suffocating today. As I stretch my hands to wash away the moisture on the glass pane the glass crumbles under my hands and the light is blocked. Darkness prevails….
Far from somewhere I can hear the laughter outside, and how similar it sounds like the cry which was choked before it could come out!